Browsing Category

Family

Family, Random

Momologue

Momologue_1

INT. STARBUCKS. DAY.

A WOMAN works on her laptop. A MOTHER sits nearby drinking a LATTE. HER BABY coos in a stroller.

ME: Stop looking at that baby like you want to eat it.

ME: But he’s so yummy!

ME: So have some chocolate. Chocolate stabilizes you.

ME: Hey listen…

ME: No.

ME: I just want to tell you something…

ME: I don’t have time for you. I’m busy writing this blog post.

ME: BUT I WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY!!! Continue Reading…

Family

All the World’s a Stage

Living in LA, people often ask us if we would let our kids be working actors. When we quickly say “yes”, they raise their eyebrows. Aren’t we worried our kids will lose all moral grounding? Become ego-maniacs? Get addicted to drugs? Aren’t we afraid they’ll become little Lohans and Biebers?All the World’s a Stage_1

Not really. Our kids see the daily grind of life in the industry, and it’s not glamorous.

Look. While Jonathan’s had much success as a writer-producer, we still shop at TJ Maxx. We have actor friends whose cars are so old the emblems have fallen off. Many have to put their dreams on the back burner and take other jobs just to pay the bills. And while we are also surrounded by a handful of celebrities, our children will grow up knowing that pursuing a career in acting or writing or filmmaking is not a quick road to fame and fortune. Continue Reading…

Family, Holidays, Things To Do In L.A.

Chasing Independence

Look at this picture. That’s my daughter in the middle there. The short one. Blue sneakers. The one who politely but determinedly pushed her way to the starting line of the annual July Fourth Kid’s Fun Run.

The one with her fingers crossed.Chasing Independence_1

Now I don’t know why she’s crossed her fingers. Maybe she wants to win the race. Maybe she’s hoping for a rainbow shave ice when she’s through. Maybe she’s thinking what I was thinking– that those other kids are huge and hopefully they won’t trample her. Continue Reading…

Family

Mommy Go Away!

My 2-year-old, Vivi, loves her daddy. I get it. He’s a dreamboat. When she wakes up (an hour too early for mommy), it’s daddy who makes her pancakes with syrup and ties her hair back so it doesn’t get sticky. It’s daddy who goes in to console her if she wakes up in the middle of the night. Daddy is tall and strong. Daddy has endless reserves of patience. If the ship’s sinking and Vivi’s holding one extra life ring, I better hope I don’t have far to swim. Daddy gets all the love.Mommy Go Away_1

So when the time came for a mommy getaway trip with 3 friends, I knew at least one of my children would be just fine with it. Continue Reading…

Family

Princess Mommy and the Dirty Little Dead Thing

So here’s the deal: I’m one of those anti-princess types. I’ve never taken my girls to Disneyland, they haven’t seen the princess movies, and when a princess book is gifted to them I edit the hell out if it, changing words like “pretty” to “smart” or “kind”. Then, after I’ve kissed them goodnight, I toss it in the recycling bin. When my oldest daughter was born I made it very clear to friends and family that there would be no princesses in our house. I flat-out lied and said we didn’t know the baby’s sex to avoid a barrage of pink at the shower. Since she was born I have guided her towards building toys and alternative dress up characters: superheroes, doctors, animals. One day I even came home from Home Depot with a hard hat.Princess Mommy_1

You laugh, but you know what?  It’s worked. I truly believe that part of the reason my daughter is a well-rounded individual is because of this mindful curation of cultural influences. Continue Reading…

Family, Things To Do In L.A.

In My Eames!

I’d give up certain types of chocolate to live in a minimalist box like you see in the pages of DWELL magazine. Walls of glass, no clutter, nothing but a Barcelona chair in a room… Sometimes children appear in these photos, but come on, we know the truth: those kids are rented. Living minimally with children is impossible.Eames_1

Still, I can dream. And I can visit the Eames House whenever I want. 

As a lover of mid-century modern architecture, I have dreamt of visiting this house for years. Somehow, I failed to coordinate a day to go with my grownup friends so I figured I’d just take my kids. Look at those faces. What could go wrong? Continue Reading…

Family, Things To Do In L.A.

The Gentle Barn

The kids had a day off from school today so a group of us took a private tour of The Gentle Barn. The Gentle Barn is an amazing rescue and rehabilitation sanctuary for abused animals. Through interaction with their animals, they teach humans empathy, compassion and kindness for all living things. Our preschoolers and toddlers are a great age for this, though they also work with inner-city youth, foster kids and special needs patients. You get to love on cows, horses, sheep, chickens, goats, llamas, and pigs.Gentle Barn_1

If you are in the least bit cranky, you won’t be after a visit here. Continue Reading…

Family

Come Snail Away

My five-year-old wanted a dog. I didn’t. The poop, the barking, the shedding, no thank you. I did, however, say yes to a couple of snails in a jar. Then I discovered something about snails: they do it. Some snails do it with other snails and the hermaphroditic ones do it with themselves. This is why when you start out with two snails in a jar, you can end up with more than you bargained for. I don’t know why it surprised me, but it did.Come Snail Away_1

Here in LA, if you leave two actors on a closed set for three weeks, they will likely have relations as well. Only they will videotape theirs. 

There’s only so much snail sex I can take, especially with small children in the house, so after breakfast today we let them go. There was a lot of melodrama and Pearl actually said the words, “I’m going to miss you soooooo much,” which is interesting since she hadn’t said two words to them since capturing them over a month ago.Come Snail Away_2

No one ever bothered to clean the jar. The sides were covered with snail poop and sludge from the decomposing fig leaves and muddy water.  Further evidence that a dog is not in our future.Come Snail Away_3

The kids were fine reaching into that nasty jar. I probably would’ve scraped them out with a stick. Or worse, called the LAFD.Come Snail Away_4

Once they were out I was a little worried that we’d put them in harms way—and by “harm’s way” I mean Vivi’s 2-year-old clodhoppers and trash compressor hands— but she was actually quite gentle. Sweet thing.Come Snail Away_5

It was way more fun watching them feast on grass than ignoring them in jar. They squirmed like little lava lamps. They seemed happy, in their snail way. Finally we headed back inside. “Mommy?” Pearl said.

Here we go. The dog pitch.

“I think I’m ready for a… butterfly.”